My favorite time of the day is when the mother colony all sits down to have dinner.
Dinner is time in which the empire comes together to bond over food, arts, libations, sex, and flatulence. For over a millennia, in normal time, we were in stasis, traveling to Planet Little Blue Green marble. During this time, we were unable to practice our customs. Many of us found that our bodies were negatively affected by failures in our quantum drive technology, which was supposed to minimize the effects of traveling outside traditional space time. We’d hope to arrive in the future untouched by the effects of entropy. But soon, we came to realized that our bodies did had a difficult time having no contact nor sustenance while we were in stasis. When we arrived to Planet Earth, on the promise of our metaphysical leader, we sought to live out or pre-determined destiny and bring the planet to a new glorious day. However, we were low on supplies and we needed help. So when we landed a little over a thousand years ago, in what we know today the natives call "Mexico," we were astonished to realize that the population had placed one of its own through a savage heating process to bring pleasure to our first dinner.
As soon as I took a bite of that being, I realized this was the decree in document S169, "you shall have ascendancy over the planet.”
We can use Earthlings however we want.
Soon, the entire encampment had come into our spaceship out of a desire to share themselves with us. As they walked up, we each greeted them with a small cup of liquid and “greetings” in our language. Many of them were so eager. They shuffled around with wide eyes and quick beating hearts. We pointed them down the main hallway where we slit their throats with a laser, killed humanely in the way they kill their non-human Earthlings in their own time.
We often grow them in large contained spaces, with little light–we’ve found most humans to be adverse to other humans that produce melanin; we limit contact with sunlight for all human beings in respect of their customs. Humans descended from what they call the continent of Europe are the most adverse to those humans with high percentages of melanin in their bloodstream. To ensure their happiness, we keep them in special areas with no sunlight to ensure their condition of supremacy isn’t exacerbated and further deteriorates their health. Fortunately, it has the added benefit of making their flesh, more succulent encouraging a desirable softness.
We ensure all our humans are healthy by regularly doing tests and administering antibiotics to the population. This is to minimize the pain they might face from mass sickness and ensure that they all get to live a long, healthy, happy life in front of our imagination screens. We often treat human beings better than they would be treated if left in their civilizations.
There are so many humans on planet Earth that if we hadn’t set up a regular hunting season, the species would have overrun it’s resources already. There is an argument for the human consciousness; some even say that eating them is cruel. But given the mass destruction of their planet, the mass killing that they have been doing to themselves along with other fellow Earthlings, and their constant oppression of one another on every level, we are certain that human beings lack consciousness. None of our metaphysical scientific studies have turned up information to the contrary.
We've been eating human beings since we found this system. It's so difficult to not eat human beings with our culture being crafted around it; our bodies literally need human meat to survive. Plus, human tastes great and gives us much contentment on our path to a post-corporeal society. Over the course of our 1,000 years here, our bodies have evolved to eat meat so well–evolution wants us to eat human beings. If we don't, they'll overrun their environment and not be able to feed themselves.
Humans already practice this with other species on their planet; we are the extra link in the food chain.
It is our destiny and birthright to take human flesh for ourselves.
A alien monster chats about the morality of eating humans
— BuzzFiend ()
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